#life

Curry Chickpea Pita Sandwich

pita girl

Photography by. Craig McDean(Left) and Bernadette Mira(Right)

Model: Gal Gadot

I never quite know how my weeks are ever going to be. When Sunday rolls around I try to set all these expectations. I’m going to wake up at 8:20 a.m. and make it to every 9:00 a.m. morning kickboxing class Monday through Friday then hit it hard on studying languages French and Japanese and make sure I get at least two recipes done this week for my blog! This past week didn’t go that way.

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I noticed myself falling. That deep, dark hole that I’m all to familiar with started to creep in the second I woke up on Monday morning. “Hello, my unwanted friend. Oh? What’s that you say? I’m not good enough? I will never accomplish anything or discover who I am as person?…Oh…that’s…great.” This conversation was never-ending till late this past Friday.

Ever since I realized that Musical Theatre was not the path for me, that it was more of a dream and desire of my adoptive parents, I realized that I was trying for years to please them and not myself. Going to theatre school, sitting out in the cold waiting for hours to MAYBE be seen for an audition, dealing with the numerous toxic people in the industry…it was exhausting and it definitely wasn’t what I wanted to do long-term. So, now that I’m off that path and separated from my adoptive family, I don’t know who I am. I have to start over completely.

Maybe I’m just complaining and maybe nothing is truly wrong with not knowing what you want to do with your life, but it honestly bothers me. I THINK I like cooking and I THINK I enjoy taking photos, but am I actually doing it for myself or for others again?

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Curry Chickpea Pita Sandwich

Serves 2-3

Ingredients 

1 can of drained chickpeas (or dried that have been cooked)

Half of a yellow onion finely diced

Sea Salt 

Black Pepper

1/2 tsp. of ground garlic

1/2 tsp. of smoked paprika 

1/2 tsp. of curry powder

1/4 tsp. of turmeric 

1 tsp. of Tahini 

Yogurt sauce:

1/4 cup of plain yogurt 

4 big garlic cloves minced

Half of a cucumber finely diced 

1 Squeeze of half of a lemon juice (about a 1 tsp)

Toppings and Extras:

2-3 Toasted pita pockets

1/8 cup of chopped cashews 

1 small handful of diced grape tomatoes 

1 small handful of arugula 

2 hard-boiled eggs (make the night before)

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
  2. While the oven is preheating, make your yogurt sauce. Add the yogurt, minced garlic and cucumber and mix well together. Then add the squeeze of lemon juice. Be sure to only add a squeeze or two, about 1 tsp. (You don’t want the mixture to be too runny.) Then once the mixture is mixed well together set it in the fridge to rest.
  3. Then chop and prepare the toppings. Cashews, grape tomatoes, and washed arugula then set aside.
  4. By this time the oven should be done preheating and if not, continue to chop the half of the yellow onion for the chickpea mixture.
  5. Once the oven is heated add the pita pockets and toast them until warm.
  6. Then in a large pan on medium heat add 1 tsp. of olive oil. Once heated add the chickpeas, onions and spices and mix well together. Once the mixture is combined turn off the heat and then add 1 tsp. of tahini and mix again till combined. Move the pan off the heat and start serving.

I serve my pita pockets by cutting them with a scissors. I cut half of the top off the pita so it creates easy access to fill it in with the chickpeas and toppings. I did mine as followed, chickpeas, arugula, tomatoes, cashews, more chickpeas then yogurt sauce. Then I had the hard-boiled eggs on the side. Feel free to add the eggs into the pita pocket. Enjoy and happy eating!

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Photos by. Bernadette Mira

Almond Oatmeal Cookies

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Photography by. Connor Langford(Left) and Bernadette Mira(Right)

Model: Zoe Hoad

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This past weekend was a weekend that I had been dreading for a while. The week before Mother’s Day was a trying one. I couldn’t keep my head together. I felt all over the place and noticed myself slipping back into past negative patterns. To forewarn any of my readers that have a past of child sexual abuse, sibling sexual abuse, etc. and are triggered by such things, please don’t read further. I want this to be a safe place to come to and I wouldn’t want to harm you in any way.

Not to be dramatic, but at times I do see my past as a very unfortunate, sad story that should be told through film. It is one of those stories that make you do a double take. At times I find it unbelievable myself and I always question if there was anything else that I could have done, but the answer is always no. None of it was my fault or responsiblity.

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The Marshman’s…

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There was this old photograph that my adoptive father took of all five of us children. I was a baby at the time and I think they just had me for maybe a few weeks or so. I was laid in the middle of my childhood blanket while the other children poked my belly and touched my face and surrounded every part of me. That picture truly describes the experience I felt living with them. Living in the Marshman household, dealing with sexual abuse from two of my siblings for four years, I felt trapped.

The moment that could have probably shifted my life entirely was when my adoptive mother saw my brother on top of me. After that moment, she knew for years that I was getting sexually abused, but said nothing. When I decided to finally come to terms with what I had been through as child, I went to her first. Her response was simply put, “I figured that was going on.”

The word ‘RUN’ should have come to me, but it didn’t. I didn’t want to be alone, so for years I tried to get my adoptive family to understand what I had been through. They still made excuses for my abusers and their actions. Such things like, “Your selfish and a bitch.” “It was a three age year difference, so it doesn’t matter that it happened.” “Come back in 20 years!” were said through the six-year course of me trying to get them to understand and be supportive.

Yes, all of them let me down, but my adoptive mother let me down the most. Being abandoned by the woman who gave birth to me, still left scars, but in a way I can disregard her, because I never knew her. Yet, having my adoptive mother abandoned me when she saw me get abused, hurts me to the core.

Not all Mothers are wonderful. Not all parents should be parents. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day shouldn’t be celebrated. We honestly should celebrate the decent parents out there every single day that we can. Acknowledging the good out there is important and it’s also important to acknowledge the bad. My adoptive parents shouldn’t have adopted five kids and brought us up in a toxic, sexually tensioned, dysfunctional environment. Unfortunately, I’m not the only case out there. Sibling sexual abuse is the most common but the least talked about. We need to talk about it. We need to share these stories to help others.

It’s important…to get myself through Mother’s Day, I was there for myself and celebrated my loving husband and my mother in law. My mother in law is the definition of what a good mother, a good parent should be. She is strong, caring and supportive. I am thankful that I have that now. I wish that for every child out there if not now for later on in their lives.

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Almond Oatmeal Cookies

Makes 24

Ingredients

1 stick of unsalted butter

1 cup of dark brown sugar

1/2 cup of granulated sugar

2 eggs

1/2 tsp. of almond extract

1/2 tsp. of vanilla extract

1 1/3 cup of all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp. of sea salt

1/2 tsp. of baking soda

1/2 tsp. of ground cinnamon 

2 1/2 cup of oats

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350 F.
  2. With a standing mixer cream butter and sugars together at medium-high speed. Once fully mixed, add two eggs and the extracts to the sugar mixture. Mix until combine and set aside.
  3. In a medium size mixing bowl, whisk the following dry ingredients until mixed. Flour, sea salt, baking soda, and cinnamon.
  4. Then slowly add the dry mixture 1/2 cup at a time to the wet ingredients in the standing mixer. Set the standing mixer on medium-high speed.
  5. Once the flour is incorporated, add the 2 1/2 cups of oats and mix into dough, until fully combined.
  6. Once finished lightly coat a cookie pan with cooking spray. Place the cookies one a time with a spoon, leaving a few inches in between them.
  7. Bake for 15 minutes at 350 F. or longer as desired. Once finished baking, let the cookies cool on the pan for 3-5 minutes then with a spatula transfer to a plate.
  8. Yields 24 medium-sized cookies.

Enjoy!!!!

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Photos by. Bernadette Mira

and

Styling cubes by. Garrett Hagen

Bathroom Pizza…

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Photography by. CHANEL(Left) and Bernadette Mira(Right)

Don’t be alarmed by the title, there is more to this story I promise…

My husband and I had a period of when we were away from each other. At the time we were boyfriend and girlfriend and during that period, I was unfortunately overwhelmed with a toxic family while living with them. My loving husband was up in Jersey City finding us a home. I was devastated that I couldn’t be with him and experience finding our first place together. Fortunately, his mother (my now mom) was able to help him.

We spent most of our days apart chatting on the phone and Skyping. Now skyping can be one of the most frustrating forms of communication. I was living literally in the middle of nowhere and the reception was at best okay during the early morning, not sure why that was. So, it was always in and out while we spoke with each other. Yet, I cherished those conversations.

One of the most memorable ones was when my husband found a place for us and it was his first night alone in the apartment. He described the place as being gross and dusty and needing a very good clean. He said that he was feeling lonely too and wish there was something to cheer him up. I can’t remember if it was his idea or mine or the both us, but he ended up spending his evening talking to me on Skype while bathing in a bathtub and eating a box of pizza. It was one of the most hilarious moments that I got to experience with him. He seemed content at that point even though we weren’t together and  knowing that made me happy.

A couple of years later, we decided to recreate that moment together. The idea of having pizza while eating in a tub and watching anime was extremely tempting. So, we spent the evening making a homemade pizza that was topped with delicious, oily, salty meat.(My husband’s favorite) After making the pizza we got the tub ready and the Ipad set up with one of our favorite anime shows. Unfortunately, after a while the temperature of the water and the heat from the pizza was too much for me to handle and the bathtub experience only lasted for maybe five minutes. We still laugh about it, because it really shows what type of relationship we have. That we’re able to be flexible even when things don’t work out exactly the way we want them to. So, if you ever get a chance, enjoy the silly moments of life and cherish them.

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Bathroom Pizza (Pesto and Spicy Tomato Sauce)

Ingredients 

Serves 6-8

Pesto sauce:

One can of pesto 3.5 oz or half of can

3 big garlic cloves 
 2 tbsp of crumbled goat cheese and mix

5-6 white mushrooms thinly sliced

Tomato sauce:

4 big garlic cloves minced
One 6 oz can of tomato paste
 1 tbsp of honey
Sprinkle of sea salt and black pepper
1 tsp of olive oil
2 tsp of red pepper flakes
Pinch of white pepper
2 tbsp of oregano
1 tsp of basil
8 to 10 tbsp of water
1 tbsp of minced fresh tarragon

Toppings:

 1 small purple onion diced in circles  

half of a small red pepper chopped in strips
2 andouille sausage chopped in circles
8 oz of grated mozzarella 

Extra:

Olive oil

Yeast

Sugar

Flour

Corn Flour

Pizza Stone

Medium size bowl 

Damp dish towel

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Directions:

  1. Firstly make the pizza dough. I used this wonderful  pizza dough recipe from Sarah’s Cucina Bella website. Follow as instructed. While the dough is rising, continue to the following steps bellow for the sauces.
  2. In a small to medium size bowl, add the can of pesto, two big minced garlic cloves and goat cheese. Combine together. Then set aside.
  3. Then slice the other big garlic clove (3rd one) in long slices. Once finished wrap in plastic wrap and set in fridge.
  4. Then thinly slice the white mushrooms and set aside in fridge also. Preheat the oven at this point to 450 F.
  5. For the Tomato sauce, add all ingredients to a medium size bowl and combine. Set aside in the fridge with plastic wrap on top till ready to use.
  6. Prepare the toppings for the pizza. Grate the mozzarella and set aside till use. In a medium sauce pan sautee half of the purple onion and some of the red pepper with 2 tbsp of olive oil. Sautee on low to medium heat until slightly brown. Set aside when finished.
  7. In the same pan or cast iron skillet, add the sliced sausage with 2 tbsp of olive oil. Sautee until slightly brown or slightly crispy. Then set aside until ready to use.
  8. Once the pizza dough is done, lightly flour the work surface and roll out the dough into a circle. (It doesn’t have to be perfect.)
  9. Then, create a uniform layer of corn flour onto the pizza stone so the dough doesn’t stick. Then carefully transfer the pizza dough to the pizza stone.
  10. Then its time to add the sauces, cheese and toppings. Start with adding the pesto sauce to half of the dough. Then add the tomato sauce to the other half. Once the sauces are on the pizza add the toppings accordingly.
  11. Pesto side- sauce, mozzarella cheese, mushrooms, garlic
  12. Tomato side- sauce, mozzarella cheese, sautéed onions and pepper.
  13. Once finished add the pizza to the oven. Bake for 6 minutes. Once the 6 minutes are up add the sausage and the remaining onions and peppers to the tomato sauce side. Then bake again for 15-20 minutes or until the sides are crispy brown.
  14. Enjoy!!!

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Photos by. Bernadette Mira

Blueberry Protein Blaster

protien smoothie

Photography by. Mario Testino and styled by Lucinda Chambers(Left) and Bernadette Mira(Right)

Model: Cara Delevingne

Normally I don’t use this page to moan, but I’m sorry I must.  If you don’t enjoy reading ‘bitchy’ posts that are along the line of being pointless, please feel free to scroll on down to the recipe.

This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. The first thing I do before I get up is that I check my phone, you know, what most people do nowadays. I was kindly informed that the letter I posted in the apartment building that I live in, that I was wrong for doing that.  For a little back story, it’s been a year since someone has come to clean the building. Normally it was done on a regular basis. You know, IF the board of the building is paying some one for those types of things, then they should be arriving to do so. But of course any fuckhead could say, “Well, no one will know the difference if I don’t show up and clean, so why should I show up?” It’s been like this for the past year and it has been infuriating to say the least. I decided to take matters into my own hands (literally) and have been cleaning the building on and off.

Now, I have to talk to someone because SOMEBODY told on me for posting the kind letter that was along the lines of, “Please keep the area clean when you can, because no one has been arriving to clean the building.”

This isn’t important, but to be honest it put a damper on my day. I decided to roll along with the punches and create the recipe I planned for today anyway. I’ll be sure to get all this frustration out tonight once I head to kickboxing. There’s nothing like kicking the shit out of a punching bag.

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Blueberry Protein Blaster

Serves 1-2

Ingredients

1 cup of frozen blueberries

2/3 cup of blackberries

1-2 kiwis chopped fine

4 tbsp. of vanilla protein powder

4 blueberry ice cubes (add two-three blueberries to water and freeze overnight in ice-cube tray)

1 cup of water or coconut water

Extra:

Raw Coconut to serve smoothie in

Blender

Straws 

Directions:

  1. Add all the ingredients to a blender and blend the shit out of it. (You really want the mixture to be super creamy.)
  2. Add the protein smoothie mixture to a cup, bowl or even a raw coconut.

Enjoy after a hard workout!

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Photos by. Bernadette Mira

Colorful Spring Rolls

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Photography by. Morelli Brothers(Left) and Bernadette Mira(Right)

Whenever I feel a lack of inspiration, I always turn to colorful fashion photos. I’m not sure why honestly. Trying to combined food along with fashion photos to create a recipe can sometimes be a nightmare when the photo is SCREAMING colors!! BUT I find it helpful. It gets me out of the box that I’m comfortable with. It’s easy to create a dish that has the colors, reds, browns, greens and yellows, because let’s be real that’s what most of the food we consume on a daily basis looks like. When I push myself out of that zone, I am able to create dishes without feeling like it needs to look EXACTLY like the photo I’m comparing it to.

So, today’s inspiration features the Morelli Brother’s photography. I was instantly drawn to the scene and the vibrant colors of this photo. Seeing the other people in the background behind the women, just adds to it. It says, “Wow, look at these two confident, colorful, fashionable ladies!” I couldn’t help but think, “Man…I REALLY want that dress!”

Without much more talk, here is today’s recipe! Enjoy!

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Colorful Spring Rolls with Spicy Garlic Sauce

Serves 3

Ingredients

1 carrot peeled and julienned

1 handful of thinly diced cilantro 

half of a small purple cabbage thinly sliced

half of cucumber julienned

Spring roll wrappers 

Cooked baby shrimp (optional)

Extra: 

Pot filled half way with warm water

Large Plate

Spicy Garlic Sauce

Ingredients

3 tbsp. of Soy Sauce

3-4 garlic cloves minced

1 tbsp. of Hoisin Sauce

1-2 tbsp. of Chili Sauce 

1 tbsp. of thinly sliced cilantro (optional)

Directions:

  1. Prepare day of or day before. Thinly slice carrot, cilantro, cabbage, and cucumber. Then set aside in an empty bowl. (If you’re adding shrimp, cook ahead of time. Follow directions on bag and set aside till ready to use.)
  2. Then prepare the spicy garlic sauce. In a small bowl add all the ingredients (including the thinly chopped garlic and cilantro) Then mix all together and set aside.
  3. Prepare a medium size pot of warm water. Be careful to only heat it to about medium heat or you might burn your hands if it’s too hot.
  4. Once the water is warm, bring the large plate onto the next burner beside the warm water. Add one spring roll wrapper at a time. Leave the wrapper in the warm water for about five seconds, then gently add it to the empty plate.
  5. From there you can add the veggies and optional shrimp. (I find it helpful to add most of the ingredients in the middle of the spring roll wrapper, then roll it from there. Try not to fill it up to much or you’ll have difficultly rolling it up.)
  6. Then repeat the process to make more spring rolls.
  7. Once finished, enjoy with friends and the added spicy garlic sauce.

 

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Photos by. Bernadette Mira

A lovely Grapefruit Gin and Tonic

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Photography by. Bernadette Mira Hagen

Where do I even begin when it seems like decades since I have written down my musings and even a recipe!? So much has happened this past year and even just this current year. You know what I mean…dare I even speak his name? It’s like the evil, demonic Voldemort in Harry Potter. Maybe if all pans out well, all of America will rally together and we will put an end to him. Maybe WordPress isn’t the best place to discuss this, but I want to be candid.

Before 2017 began, I got married back on November the 5th. It was nothing huge, just a few family and friends. I wanted to make it special for my husband and I. We have for the past almost six years we’ve been together have had to deal with my deceased family for many reasons. Dont worry, they’re not dead, just very toxic to have as a family. Anyway, in my head I wanted needed the wedding to be perfect to make up for their absence. Which puts so much pressure on a person to do EVERY SINGLE THING RIGHT. To my surprise though, the wedding was and has been the most perfect, magical day of my life so far.

Quickly after that, America was on their feet to the surprise of HIM winning the election. So, this past year I have done a tremendous amount of thinking of what I can do for myself to keep myself happy and to keep going. My conclusion is to keep on making art, no matter what form that may be in. Be it fashion, photography, making a gif video for Instagram, that is what is going to help America through this rough time. Rallying together, bringing art at the center, because that is what makes us as humans so special. We have the ability to create amazing things, so why not share it? Without much more talk, here is today’s recipe. Enjoy it, because everyone deserves a drink and also enjoy it because it’s damn delicious if I say so myself.

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Grapefruit Gin and Tonic

Serves 1-2

Ingredients 

1 hearty Grapefruit 

4tbsp. Of good Gin 

dash of nutmeg 

dash of sea salt (optional)

3-4 ice cubes 

1/2-1 cup of Tonic water 

Extra 

Cocktail Shaker 

Directions:

1. Vigorously roll around the Grapefruit on a flat surface in the palm of your hand to release the juices.

2. Cut the Grapefruit in half and gently squeeze the Grapefruit juice in the cocktail shaker. (May use both halves of the Grapefruit if you decide to make two Gin and tonics. If you don’t have a cocktail shaker, be sure to remove the Grapefruit seeds.)

3. Add the nutmeg, sea salt, Gin and ice cubes to shaker. Quickly shake the ingredients together while holding the top intact.

4. Remove the small cap to the shaker and pour into wine glass or glass of your choosing. Then add the Tonic water and stir together with the other ingredients.

Enjoy with a slither of Grapefruit on the side!

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Featured by Jenny Mustard

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 Photo by. Jenny and David Mustard

I was recently featured on Jenny and David’s YouTube channel. It was such a lovely birthday surprise. Thank you Jenny and David for being such wonderful people and being such an inspiration for me. Check out their Sunday Breakfast and be sure to subscribe to their channel! I am featured in their Creative Corner at 7 minutes. Enjoy!